Sunday, December 18, 2016

Blogmas Day 6

One the 6th day of blogmas my true Jen gave to me

Day 6: Christmas Traditions

Shit, if you guys haven't noticed. Im so grinchy!
I have no traditions!

I am trying to think of stuff because I dont want this to be the shortest blog post in the world.

When I used to live near my extended family we all used to have dinner together and to be honest I don't even know if they will be making large dinners any more ever since one of my aunts opened up a restaurant and has to cook all day and another aunt helps her out as well

I know for a fact that they actually stopped cooking at home so I dont even know what their plans on this Christmas is.

The last couple of Christmas that I started living in Southern California they would actually forget about me so I didn't even get Christmas presents, so it's not like I was also part of opening one present after dinner and the rest on Christmas morning.

Here, I guess ill tell the most depressing Christmas story ever, 

The last Christmas I spent with my extended family, and I made it this was after I considered it so shitty. They downright forgot about me. So it was 3 aunts, a bunch of cousins and my uncle. And we all had dinner, naturally my cousins went to the tree to fetch one of the family presents. Actually it was the family presents that were opened after dinner and Santa presents in the morning. Well as we were in dessert, my aunts and uncle just stopped looking me in the face and I knew something was up. It was when my cousins were getting their presents and I sat down (already having suspicions) that one of my aunts was like heeyyy, Im so sorry, we just forgot you were coming (I was living in SoCal and them in Tijuana) and we didn't get you anything. And me trying to be nice and courteous I was like oh thats fine, I didn't want anything anyways, I stuck around as everyone bragged about their presents and I just looked at my phone. Of course, the next morning, Santa forgot I was coming as well... So it was the previous night all over again as I watched from the kitchen and fake ate breakfast.

And I say fake ate because to be honest the whole thing depressed me and I was not feeling hungry but I simply didn't want to stand with the rest of the family and act like I was just as happy as everyone else who was opening their presents. Every single present that they opened was just a reminder that they forgot about me.

To be honest, from that year on, thats how it was with them. And its one of the biggest reasons that my birthday depresses me and Christmas.

That was probably the last Christmas I properly celebrated. I did go back the year after, which is when my mother was actually there and she was the only one that had a present for me, she had bought me New Moon and Breaking Dawn. The rest had forgotten me once again and to be honest, I was past the point of caring by that year and had stopped expecting anything from them. I stopped expecting anything for Christmas ever and Christmas became a card holiday for me.

Speaking of birthday, thats actually an even sadder story.
So while im at sad stories, I will go ahead and tell you my saddest birthday yet.
Where I was once again forgotten.. Or rather ignored.

So my birthday is March 12 and I have an older cousin whos birthday is on the 9th. She isnt MUCH older than me. We have never gotten along, or rather she has never gotten along with the rest of the family, so I dont know how much older she is. Anyways, one year, as I lived here in Southern California, she came over for the weekend and we went to Olive Garden, on the day of my birthday. To celebrate her birthday. No one said shit to me the whole day.

I sat by as my aunt, uncle (different than the Christmas and this was actually before the Christmas story), my grandmother and maybe another aunt, I honestly have blocked who was there, all congratulated her since the morning, made her breakfast, we all went out, she got presents. They got her a cake at Olive Garden, they sang her Happy Birthday and she got treated like a Queen and I swear, no one said ANYTHING to me. Literally, not even the day before or later or EVER! They literally forgot about my birthday over all. They celebrated her on my birthday and my gift was to watch them ignore me. 

I think my mother (who worked the whole time in Tijuana which is why she wasnt with me) was the only one that got me anything, I can almost guarantee that she got me a slice of my favorite cake the following weekend when she came to visit.

Every year, as much as I tease people to get me shit on my birthday and say all these things, I actually go depressed as my birthday grows nearer. To the point were I actually cry. Like I hate my birthday. And maybe I say all that shit to my friends about my birthday because I am scared they will forget but I honestly dont think that my worst birthday is the reason I hate my birthday, because I know Ive had good ones after that, ones that I wasnt dreading the date, like in 2010 I know I wasnt dreading it, I honestly think I have started to hate my birthday with a passion since the year after that actually. 

Ive had good times, but I just always dread the day of my birthday. And if I can avoid social interactions the day of my birthday, I can guarantee that I will take it. 

Wow,,, this went the total opposite direction of where I wanted it to go...